It’s been a long time. A long, long while since I found the time to sit here and type out the thoughts and reflections on my mind.
I suppose I’ve felt like I’ve had ‘nothing good to say’ – but I’m learning I need to stop judging my own artistry so harshly – there is art in the simplest of things. There is art in sitting at home with my cats sipping on whiskey thinking about grad schools and whatever my future is supposed to be.
I’ve been running around this city like madness – I’ve been losing sleep, I’ve been heaving, I’ve been missing out on what it feels like to be human and rather I’ve just been running on autopilot.
I’ve been teaching, I’ve been making coffee, I’ve been rehearsing – and now I’m in a show that has opened successfully, is getting marvelous reviews in local Milwaukee papers, and I’ve been going out for drinks in the city.
I’ve found that Milwaukee is wrapping its arms around me and holding me close – its becoming mine.
I’m learning how to be a better teacher. I’m learning to work on apologizing and taking responsibility when I do something wrong. I’m learning to relax more, to let things happen, to deal with people who are angry and bitchy without reason. And I’m realizing – it is my job to take what I want.
That is the biggest realization I’ve had lately – it is my job to take what I want, to create opportunities when I need to – I mean as an artist I create all the time so thus can’t I create opportunities? Create chances and new ideas? New concepts?
This summer I will be producing my own project – working closely with someone I met in the current show I’m working on – and creating a show from there. A shortened, minimal version of As You Like It – to be done somewhere outdoors in the middle of the summer.
Plans – they’re flying around my head right now and thus distracting me from what I’m trying to say.
That’s how its been as of late. Flying forward.
I apologize for this rambling.